Beginning of my Self Portrait

  This is my planing for the self portrait, it’s based on what I’m going through right now. I have a tumour in my hip, and recently broke my hip. So I’m taking a lot of the emotions I’m feeling and putting it into the work. The plan is to paint it of how I see my self and how I feel. Seeing as many may not know what’s happening, because I conceal it. So this is just a way of opening up about what’s going on. 

The top image, is of the cut that was made for my surgery, although I will be having another one, I haven’t decided which on will be this bold. I’m thinking there will be another one that is a scar, and this bold one will be for the second surgery. Since it will be a big scar and larger in every way.

The 2 bottom images, are of my plan for my head. It shows all the words that are going through my mind, with the biggest being “tumour”, which can also be found all around. Showing its the one that’s always on my mind. The colours represent my feelings to those words. The darker it is the more hurt I feel to them. So the ones in yellow are happy ones.  You may also see that you can’t see my face, showing that I’m so consumed with what’s going on that I can’t control what to feel.

   These are some test ideas, of the cut. I was messing around with textures. The colour is not right but I wanted to see how the texture looked with paint over top. 
I plan for the painting to be big, and have many things going on at once. I plan to have some needles painted on to me, as if I’m getting on. Showing all the needles from blood thinners, chemo needles and blood test. Everything that I have been through.